Masturbation: Less than the best

"What if I asked you to give up masturbation,” He asked? 

I replied through prayer, “I think that would be very difficult.”

In short, I think that I place too much of a value on sexual satisfaction, which probably means I need to struggle to give it up. Maybe it’s not forever, but at least for an undefined period of time. While pleasure can be good, I cannot allow it to become something I can’t give up for the sake of knowing Christ. (Phillippians 3:8)* I need to give this up because I want something better. In the process of letting go of my ‘rights’ to it, I will discover the value of what I acquire instead.

Tonight, I asked permission. He said, no, but I did anyway. That is unacceptable. I cannot let a physical desire override my spiritual desire. If I do, I will discover as always that the two cannot be separated without losing their value.

Even though there is pleasure in masturbation and pleasure in participating in sex, this kind of pleasure is driven from a source that loses its value outside of marriage. I have defined pornography as wrong, but cannot do the same for masturbation. It is not such a black and white line. However, it is less than the best I could desire and therefore a distraction that I need to keep from blocking my vision of what is beautiful.

*Phillippians 3:8

More than that, I count all things as loss compared to the surpassing excellence of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.

When Jesus is There

I think that I am finally coming to understand the problem with Pornography. It is the part of watching it that hurts. Even from the very start, I know that I am taking something from someone that doesn’t belong to me. In addition, I am forcing Christ to go through a mental interaction with a person that is not my wife. How can I join Him with a prostitute? (1 Corinthians 6:15 Do you not knowthatyourbodiesaremembersof Christ?Shall I then takethemembersof Christand unite themwith a prostitute?Never!) This is the most terrible thing of all, for this action does not hurt me as much as it does Him. 

I think this is the first time I have gone through a ‘session’ with the full knowledge that Jesus has never left the room. That He looks on with sorrow at how willing I am to be unsatisfied. It’s a little bit awkward writing it here, but there is no condemnation from Him. His grace has covered my sin before I even consider performing it.

Because God is the source of joy, pleasure, beauty, etc.… anything that I pursue apart from my pursuit of Him will not contain the joy, pleasure, beauty etc.… that I expect. When I pursue God, I will find what I want in greater measure. When I pursue what I want, I will be disappointed when I receive it.

A Beautiful Girl

It is interesting to note that it is not necessarily my exposure to evil, but my treatment of it that hurts or helps me. Tonight, I saw one of the ads for sex that litter the internet and responded with a simple thought: you are beautiful, but that is not what you are beautiful for. There is a much greater purpose behind how you look. The hunger in your eyes will only be satisfied by one thing. You were created to be in a relationship with your creator. When I see your beauty, I can see something of the nature of God, but when I use your beauty for my selfish end, I turn away from the context in which you are most beautiful and am left with an object devoid of beauty and ultimately even devoid of pleasure.