Just This Time

Sometimes the desire is just to see what it will feel like this time. It is surprising how almost everything I see now is revolting to my sensibilities, but I go on looking for an image that is not revolting. I don’t think I will ever find it, but that is sometimes what pushes me further. Even though I am never happy with it, I enter anyway and leave feeling the way I did before – only a little bit worse. Now, even though I didn’t want them, I have certain pictures that are stuck in my mind. They give me no joy, but they are there, wasting space