Thursday, November 17, 2016

The Power of Negative Thinking

 

Creating negative associations with pornography may help to curb the neural pathways that lead to its use. 


Touching a hot stove results in a brain pathway that says, “Don’t do that again!” Part of the reason that the use of pornography leads to the opposite behavior is that we refuse to reflect on the experience to find out whether it is really satisfying.

Every activity has an effect on the happiness of an individual. There is no such thing as a static activity with no effect. The use of pornography, as with every other activity, either helps or harms the individual. Without pausing to discover which the impact is, the porn user will still feel the long-term effects. The problem is that sometimes changes take place so gradually that they are virtually unnoticeable.

The fabled frog was not placed into the pot of boiling water or he would have jumped out. Rather, the cook insured water was comfortably warm to start and gradually increased the heat until the frog was ready to eat. Had he taken the time to look around at his situation the frog might have survived. Perhaps an immediate awareness of whether the heat was increasing or decreasing would have allowed him to recognise the danger and get out. For the moment, however, he was happy, and in this way he lost his life.

 

The Power of Negative Thinking

Some people look at addictions like they were a problem of the mind. However, I would suggest that bad behavior comes from a failure to use the mind. Ask any porn user, smoker, or gambler whether they thought this was what they wanted out of life and most will say no. The honest person who thinks about their behavior is inclined to do what is best for their interests. When they think about what they are doing with a serious intention to understand it, the nature of what they do becomes sincerely ridiculous.

They might still choose to ignore their thoughts that perhaps another lifestyle choice would be better. However, the denial of their existence only strengthens their legitimacy. Whenever I use porn it requires me to ignore the things that I know about how unsatisfying it is, about its social impact, and about the ludicrous nature of trying to make love to a computer screen. I am nearly ready to laugh at myself for what I do, but humans are far to ready to push aside their thoughts in order to have what we like. How many smokers talk about quitting while taking another puff? How many gamblers hide their money to stop what they do? How many blog posts will I write about using porn as a Christian?

The brain takes time to change. If I am willing to immerse myself in the feelings of devastation, sorrow, and overall foolishness that follow my behaviour, perhaps over time my brain will begin to associate such things with the activity that I want to avoid. However, it is hard to expose myself to such things. I would rather see a good-looking gentleman than a disheveled knave when I look into the mirror.

 

The Decision

Thus, I must decide which I would rather have: a life of self-deception, or an honest look at who I am and where I want to go. This is the duty of the Christian: to walk in the light rather than in the darkness. To expose every aspect of ourselves to the God whose grace is big enough to cover everything and whose love sees only the righteousness of Jesus. It is only by recognizing the truth of what we believe that we can open up to the light and engage with our actions in the honest mindset required for lasting change.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Empty Water Bags

Trying to find satisfaction through pornography is similar to trying to find water inside of an empty water bag. No matter how hard you suck at the opening, there is no moisture to satisfy the unending thirst of a dry tongue. With just a few minutes of use, I have drained the container of pornography to find that it has nothing to offer besides a spray of warm air.

Perhaps my experience is unusual and my brain is no longer primed to enjoy such a guilty pleasure. However, I think that the digital world of pornography (and perhaps the digital world of social media, gaming, etc...) offers more than it gives. The sales pitch is great, but the actual product does not do what it was supposed to.

My experience of Netflix and of Pornhub reflect the truth of this idea. Both platforms are designed for convenience of browsing through reams of possibilities, none of which are fully satisfactory. We search through one genre after another seeking some answer to the nagging question deep within the soul, but this action is only a distraction. The real test is one of whether we can turn to face the question head on to discover its source or whether we will attempt to appease some tickle of fancy that proposes to end our interest in the question for awhile.

What is the question?

I think it is not clearly defined in my own mind enough to share. However, I know that simply embracing a passion for knowing God and living as a Christian is not enough to make it go away. There is still some need or want whose root may be good or evil, but whose effect must be managed if I am to avoid the frustration of trying to drink out of empty water bags.